Ever wonder what sets genuinely happy couples apart? It’s not just about being in love or sharing fun experiences—it’s also about what they say to each other daily. Sometimes, a few simple phrases can go a long way in making a relationship feel rock-solid.
If you’re like most people, you’ve probably seen both ends of the spectrum in relationships. Maybe you’ve been in a relationship where communication just flowed, but maybe you’ve also been in one where even the smallest conversations turned into arguments. It’s tough when you want a meaningful connection but struggle with the “how.”
The truth is, healthy relationships are built on consistent communication habits. And some of those habits can be as simple as knowing what to say—and when to say it.
The problem is, most of us weren’t handed a playbook for what a great relationship looks like. Many of us learned about love from watching our parents or through trial and error. If you grew up without seeing a healthy relationship in action, you might wonder, “What does one even sound like?” The good news is, it’s something you can learn, no matter your past experiences.
Let’s break down eight phrases that healthy couples use all the time. These are phrases you can adopt to improve communication, build trust, and keep things running smoothly.
1. “I Get Where You’re Coming From”
Being in sync doesn’t mean you always agree, but it does mean you value each other’s perspectives. When you say, “I get where you’re coming from,” you’re telling your partner that you’re listening and trying to understand them, even if you see things differently.
I remember a time when my partner and I disagreed about finances. It would have been easy to dig my heels in, but I realized that just saying, “I see your point,” shifted the tone completely. Suddenly, we were teammates instead of opponents.
This phrase builds trust and shows empathy, both of which go a long way in resolving conflicts peacefully.
2. “Did I Get That Right?”
Healthy couples know that listening isn’t just about nodding along—it’s about really understanding. Saying, “Did I get that right?” shows that you’re actively trying to connect and validate what they’re sharing.
Psychologist Dr. Heather Stevenson suggests using this after you paraphrase what your partner said. For example, “So, you’re feeling stressed because work’s been intense lately—did I get that right?” It’s a small habit, but it opens the door for them to clarify if you’re off the mark, which helps avoid miscommunications.
3. “How Can I Support You?”
Life’s tough enough as it is, and one of the best things a partner can offer is genuine support. Asking, “How can I support you?” shows that you’re not just there for the good times—you’re also there to help when things get challenging.
A friend once told me how his partner would say this to him whenever he seemed down. It didn’t matter if it was a rough day at work or a big life change; hearing those words made him feel like he wasn’t alone in his struggles. Offering support like this is a core trait of healthy relationships.
4. “Does That Work for You?”
Checking in with your partner about decisions or plans shows that you value their input and want to make choices together. Saying, “Does that work for you?” before locking in plans shows mutual respect and consideration.
Imagine you’re thinking about booking a trip but ask, “Hey, does that weekend work for you?” It’s a simple way to show that you’re thinking about how things impact them, not just you. This small habit can help build a true partnership rather than a one-sided relationship.
5. “I Need X… Can You Y?”
Nobody is a mind reader, and healthy relationships involve clearly communicating needs. Rather than hoping your partner just “gets it,” expressing needs directly—like, “I need a little time to unwind after work, can you handle dinner tonight?”—is more effective.
This approach takes the guesswork out of the equation. Couples therapist Kayla Crane explains that making specific requests helps avoid misunderstandings and gives your partner a fair chance to meet your needs.
6. “I’m Sorry”
We’ve all been there—sometimes, you just mess up. But in a strong relationship, you don’t just brush it off. You own it. Saying, “I’m sorry” (and meaning it) can be a game-changer in mending trust and moving forward.
I once had a major disagreement with my partner about something I didn’t handle well. Apologizing wasn’t easy, but taking accountability for my actions helped clear the air. An authentic apology shows that you’re not only willing to admit when you’re wrong but that you respect your partner’s feelings enough to make things right.
7. “Let’s Spend Some Time Together”
Life can get busy, but happy couples prioritize quality time. Saying, “Let’s spend some time together” reminds your partner that you still want to connect outside of daily routines.
One couple I know does a weekly date night, no matter how packed their schedules get. It’s their way of ensuring they don’t let life get in the way of their connection. Just a simple phrase can help remind each other that your bond is a priority.
8. “I’m Proud of You”
Encouraging each other’s growth is a vital part of a healthy relationship. Letting your partner know, “I’m proud of you,” might seem small, but it’s a powerful way to celebrate their successes and support their journey.
For example, when your partner accomplishes something, like a work milestone or a personal goal, telling them how proud you are reinforces that you’re genuinely rooting for them. This phrase goes a long way toward creating a relationship where both partners feel appreciated and valued.
Each of these phrases plays a unique role in creating a relationship that feels supportive, open, and genuinely happy. Start using a few of these phrases in your conversations, and notice how they transform the way you connect with each other. Relationships are about the little things, and these phrases are simple but effective tools to build a deeper bond.
I’ve learned that these phrases aren’t about “perfect” communication—they’re about keeping things real. I used to think being in a healthy relationship meant never arguing, but I’ve since realized that it’s more about learning how to handle disagreements with respect. A simple, “I get where you’re coming from,” or “How can I support you?” can make a world of difference.
Try adding one or two of these phrases into your daily conversations, and see what happens. You might be surprised at how something so small can shift the tone of your relationship. Let me know in the comments if any of these phrases resonate with you or if you’ve tried them yourself!
Building a strong relationship isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about the small, consistent ways we show up for each other. These phrases are just a starting point to create a connection that lasts. Remember, the goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress.
Healthy relationships take work, but they’re worth every bit of effort. By focusing on how you communicate, you’ll set yourself up for a relationship that’s not only resilient but also fulfilling. Start small, be patient with yourself, and remember: you’re capable of creating the relationship you want.
